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A parody of "Who's Your Daddy?" (Written and recorded by Toby Keith) New lyrical adaptation by Cledus T. Judd, Christopher Clark and Frank Pierce. (recording) Track one "Where's Your Mommy" Parody of Toby Keith's "Who's Your Daddy". Enjoy Go to sleep little baby Before the boogie man gets you When you'll awake, We'll pat a little cake And ride the pretty little pony... (spoken) Shhh...uhuhuh... It's OK Ahhh...You so cute...you little wookie wookie wookie wookie Was it my singin??? You look so much like your daddy Ha ha Who's your daddy? No I'm just kiddin' I love you so very much You want.. Uh come here to me... OOOH... (sniffs) Shooo...I think it's time for you to change your little bitty diaper That little boogie boogie boogie boogie boogie I love you so much...but I wish you would just quit crying. Well I'm sittin here rockin our cute little baby Tell me why you just won't stop cryin' My little souvenir from Dollywood last Valentine's Yeah I burped you twice sounded good Did everything a father should Read Barney and nursery rhymes I guess your momma needs a girls night out every once in a while I put on a brand new diaper baby Huh huh don't you wet it Everything was going just fine Till's you threw up on me when I fed ya Where's your mommy I'm going crazy Call up a buddy I need a friend Cause I'm a new dad Who don't know what to do When a tummy starts to rumblin Your diaper's droopin' You won't stop poopin' Now I have stood all I can stand Where's your mommy little baby You've got a dummy for a dad... (spoken) Shhh come on what's wrong with you Your tummy tummy tummy hurt you Little pookie pookie pookie pookie Quit cryin' please... Well...you're still up past your bedtime baby Huh huh...ain't cha...Now I've about had it I never knew what your momma went through But I do now and I know UH I'm no good at it Where's your mommy I'm going crazy How'd you get muddy? Where have you been? It's that dang doggie door That you keep crawlin through I'll have to nail that thing shut again You sure are screamin' You must be teethin I want your bottle I burned my hand Where's your mommy little baby You've got a dummy for a dad... Here comes your mommy little baby And your daddy sure is glad... TOP I Was Country When Country Wasn't Pop A Parody of "I Was Country When Country Wasn't Cool" (Written by Kye Flemming and Dennis Morgan, recorded by Barbara Mandrell) New lyrical adaptation by Cledus. T. Judd and Christopher Clark (recording) Track 2 "I Was Country When Country Wasn't Pop" Featuring the "Possum", George Jones. Parody of Barbara Mandrell's "I Was Country When Country Wasn't Cool" Enjoy I remember hearing LeAnn Rimes When she sang blue what sounded like Patsy Cline And I remember that Oo SheDaisy But don't they sound a lot like Destiny's Child Now Michael Bolton's on the Opry And they've turned me down again And man that really hurts me a lot Cause I was country when country wasn't pop I remember "He Stopped Loving Her Today" Back when radio would play George Jones You never hear Family Tradition Or all of those killer songs Bocephus wrote And I ain't heard twin fiddlin' since I don't know when Now it's more like Britney Spears than it is Loretter Lynn I was country when country wasn't pop Yeah I was country when country wasn't pop Yeah I was country way before Kid Rock Now every act sounds the same This crossin over's got to stop Yeah...I was country when country wasn't pop Well they sound like Smashing Pupmkins In a pair of cowboy boots They's about as country as Huey Lewis and the News I was country when country wasn't pop Yeah...I was country when country when country wasn't pop I was country and I'm still proud of David Baugh It's a shame Shania Twain Is mixin Rock and roll and funky hip hop 'Cause I was country when country wasn't pop Here...I was country when Barbara Mandrell was really hot TOP My Crowd Parody of "My Town" (written by Jeffrey Steele and Reed Neilsen recorded by Montgomery Gentry) New lyrical adaptation by Cledus T. Judd and Christopher Clark (recording) Track 3 My Crowd. Parody of Montgomery Gentry's My Town Enjoy There's a big old line down at the TicketMaster I admit it it's a sight I'd love to see A few of them look like they need a shower But they're holding signs saying "I love Cledus T." If it wasn't for them I'd be right in the poor house Country music fans are the best around Them's my crowd (Na na na na na) Yeah them is my crowd (Na na na na na) Hey Sell the farm Sell the bread All their necks are a little red They love Hank They love Hag They've been known to wave the flag They're always up gettin down They get riled if they get loud Them is my crowd (Na na na na na) Hey...you're with my crowd (Na na na na na) My Crowd There's a lot of drinkin beer When they fire up the grill They'll line up at the port-a-Johns real soon If you ask me there ain't nothing louder Than a country music concert coming through Come tomorrow morning out in the parking lot There'll be fifty thousand beer cans on the ground And them's my crowd (Na na na na na) Yeah This is my crowd (Na na na na na) Overworked Underpaid They all work more than minimum wage When Earnhardt died They all was sad Gun control makes them fightin' mad Pop a top pass it around Turn it up then chuck it down This is my crowd (Na na na na na) Yeah...you're with my crowd (Na na na na na) My crowd (Chant) CleDUS (8 times) Well I hope I bought you all a lot of laughter I'm gonna miss ya You made me feel like a big star My tour bus will hit the road in a couple of hours And fans like you make leaving really hard We'll do another big show come tomorrow night But you are hard to beat I'm telling you right now And maybe later old T. Judd will take one of you cowgirls Back to my house (Na na na na na) Yeah You're with my Crowd (Na na na na na) Hey You yell some more Some hell was raised Y'all be hung over for days You got to hear some real hot bands And got to meet some real cool fans We raised the roof and burned it down And see y'all next time around Y'all with my crowd (Na na na na na) Yeah this is my crowd (Na na na na na) My crowd TOP 270 Somethin A parody of "19 Somethin" (written by Chris duBois and David Lee recorded by Mark Wills) New lyrical adaptation by Cledus T. Judd and Christopher Clark (recording) Track 4 "270 Somethin'" Parody of Mark Wills' "19 Somethin'" by Mark Wills Enjoy Wooo (spoken) You know a man does have to eat him somethin' I love candy bars...eat them all the time My combo meal's are super-sized And I crave the stuff they put inside those dang ding dongs mmmm My cholesterol is off the chart I keep a blood pressure cuff on my left arm Doctor says that my poor heart won't last too long My nickname in school was double wide Cause my momma fried... Now I weigh 270 somethin' Always huffin and puffin Lay around the house all day No wonder I can't lose no weight See that pizza on the TV Oh man don't it look cheesy You know they deliver here for nothin' That's why I weigh 270 somethin' My insurance said that they'd co-pay I made the same appointment Carnie Wilson made Plastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles off He stapled and sucked stuff through a tube I lost a hundred pounds in one afternoon When I came to in the recovery room Wuddn't much left of me When he removed the bandages from my thighs I couldn't believe my eyes Now I weigh 180 somethin' Didn't have to do much of nothin' I'm lookin' like Jean Claude Van Damme To fit in a pair Mark Wills' pants Now everyone who sees me Can't believe that I'm so skinny My body fat is nearly nothin' Ha ha Now that I weigh 180 somethin' WOOO Ha Ha Now I date a model with a GED But do you think she'd be with me I wonder (I wonder) If I (If I) Still weighed...270 somethin' Stuffin down blueberry muffins Onion rings and cans of SPAM That's how I got so fat Now everyone who sees me Can't believe that I'm so skinny I used to break a sweat just doin' nothin' Back when I weighed 270 somethin' Now I weigh 180 somethin' (spoken) Ah...well it's probably like more like around 225-26 None of y'all's business how much I weigh Huh huh... TOP Riding With Inmate Jerome A parody of "Riding With Private Malone" (Written by Thom Shepherd and Weed Newton. Recorded by David Ball) New lyrical adaptation by Cledus T. Judd (recording) (laughter) Track 5 "Riding With Inmate Jerome" Parody of David Ball's "Riding With Private Malone" Enjoy I was just out of the rehab rolling through the neighborhood When I came across this homeboy Said he'd fix me up real good He led me down an alley And right through a chain link fence I had a hundred dollars I could spend It was parked out in the driveway at a house of ill-repute And in the back seat hung a double breasted lime green suit What that homeboy showed me nearly caused a heart attack For what he called a hooptie was a sky blue Cadillac And I felt a little nervous as I drove out of the hood But I loved that furry steering wheel And that dashboard made of wood I opened up the mini bar and in there I found a note The stationery said County Jail and this is what he wrote He said my (missaint???) is inmate Leroy Jerome And if youse readin this judge says I isn't coming home Though I am incarcerated I'll make a deal with you If you can keep my gals in line this car belongs to you Now ride low And drive slow And make her yours own You'll always be riding with Inmate Jerome The grill on the radiator was gold and shiny bright And I'd tell you those old curb feelers were handy late at night I get the feeling sometimes if I turn real quick I'd see A gold-toothed cat daddy in the seat right next to me One night I was hoppin and when I heard the breaking glass And I can still remember the sounds of bullets whizzin' past Someone said they saw a man in a fur coat and fur hat Push me out of the motorcar and take his Caddy back It was a young man named inmate Leroy Jerome He's out of the joint the parole board sent him home Yes he was incarcerated...but he cut a deal or two Now he's got a brand new pinky ring and new Bruno Malli shoes Hey I think I caught a whiff of Michael Jordan's splash cologne I sho nuff of riding with inmate Jerome TOP New Car A parody of "Big Star" (Written by Stephony Smith recorded by Kenny Chesney) EMI Blackwood Music Inc. New lyrical adaptation by Cleduc T. Judd, Christopher Clark and Paula Jo Taylor. (recording) Track 6 "New Car" Parody of Kenny Chesney's big hit "Big Star" Enjoy (spoken) Come on you no good worthless piece of foreign... (BEEP) Wait till I get me a royalty check I'm gonna buy me an American made car Piece of junk People always shout obscenities When I stall in their lane They're all convinced when they see me driving this heap that I'm insane But seat belted in I push the gas down fearlessly Breaks stop working then I watch the engine overheat I need a new car I can't ever get far This one breaks down on me all the time It's got four bald tires And it always backfires And I'm sick of that check engine light I need a new car I replaced all the cables and hoses Had grease all over my face For a couple weekends I had parts thrown all over the place I put it back together fast But now it's even worse Now my friends just laugh Cause it only goes in reverse I need a new car Getting to work's hard When you have to drive backwards all the time I'd find a junkyard and I'd sell it for parts But I know they won't give me a dime I need a new car I won't repair anymore Now the dang transmission's about to fall out The only thought that's on my brain is the new car I could be driving now Rumor is they're having a sale over at the push pull or drag car lot If I can get this towed down there I swear I'll take anything they've got So with a credit line of $20,000 plus No interest or money down and no more taking the bus I got a new car Looking like a big star I don't care if the price is too high It's got a VCR cruise control and Onstar So I know where I'm at all the time I got a new car He got a new car (recording) I hope you enjoyed your refreshing six pack of Judd Take a six pack of Judd to your next party and bandy it with all your friends And remember listen responsibly Thank you Back |